Gotcha Day: A Year Later

I truly cannot believe that a year ago today was the first time we met our beautiful daughter. There are times when I cannot believe a year has passed, but there are times when I feel like we've had Brielle forever. I think it has almost taken me a year to process our Gotcha Day.

We decided pretty quickly after our Gotcha Day that it would not be the day for celebration. We had been warned by others about how emotional it can be for everyone, so we were somewhat prepared. I remember the first thing I thought when I saw Brielle was how incredibily tiny she was, and clearly not a typical 3 year old. We tried very hard to engage her, and help her to understand the life-changing event that was occurring. She could not make eye contact, did not know how to be held, and was not mentally with-it. It was a pretty scary day for us all. I think at that point Scott and I were accepting that we had adopted a child with very little functioning skills. That was not what we expected. Although we will never know I am sure the day was incredibly hard for Brielle too. She was taken away from the only orphanage she had known to sleep in a new one for a night, put into new clothes that were too big, and handed off to strangers who didn't speak her language.

We didn't hear any noise out of her until she let out a giggle in the car going over a pot hole. That brought a moment of relief, knowing that at least she could laugh. My prayer then became that there would be a day when she would laugh at us, not at bumps in the road.

We played outside in the grass, and with some of the toys we brought. Brielle was pretty content just to be held, and she slowly learned how to lean in and form her body to ours. We had a small dinner, and put her to bed. She went down without crying and slept 12 hours straight.

Scott and I didn't talk much about that day, and how we felt because it was too hard. Our expectations from her file were very different than the reality we walked in to.

I was reading some of the blogs I wrote before we went to Bogota last year. I had written about a sermon from Momentum based on Matthew 28-30, where Jesus talks about followers taking his yoke.  In the sermon Bart described how Christ's yoke fits each of us perfectly because the yoke is molded for us, and us for the yoke. I know on August 14, 2014 I was questioning whether the yoke Christ had given us was indeed a good fit. Now a year later I know, with out doubt, that the yoke of parenting Brielle was designed specifically for us. It is still not a perfect fit because Christ is molding us to fit that yoke every day, growing patience, love, and grace in us.

Brielle was not the child we expected her to be, and she still exceeds our expectations every day. I cannot even recount all her accomplishments this year. The way that she overcomes her difficulties amazes me every day. I am blessed to be her momma, and pray that God will continue to use her story to draw others to Him.

(And in case you're wondering October 8th is our Family Day celebration, when we will celebrate the day our adoption was final in court and we could come home a family of 3.)

 Waiting Anxiously

 She wasn't sure what to do with the baby doll

 One of her first car rides

Our first family photo!

How she has grown and changed in one year. 

We cannot wait to see what God has planned for her future!

New Year, New Accomplishments

We kicked off 2015 we an eventful start! We had our first night away from our girl. Every year for 6 years we've spent New Years Eve with friends from college. We had planned to bring Brielle, but my parents kindly offered to come stay the night with her. I was a little nervous because her toddler behavior has increased lately, but of course she was a little angel for her grandparents. It was so nice to have a night away! I can't believe we didn't take a single picture together!

Scott has also started a new job with Ventiv Tech, which he loves! His position is more web development than his previous one, and he commutes 3 days a week to the office. It has been an adjustment to have him gone, but it makes our family time all the more special. Brielle certainly misses her daddy while he is gone!

We had an appointment with the ophthalmologist, and it took 4 hours! She did great, but does have a slight vision problem. We hope to pick out her glasses this week. Then the next day we had her OT evaluation. We are excited to start with some therapies because I know they are going to help her tremendously! The evaluation went well, and right now our concentration is learning how to color better and learning how to stack blocks. We have a PT eval on the 23rd, and then we will start both therapies weekly.

Brielle has been growing and changing all the time! She has gone through so many developmental stages since we got her in August, and she is coming fully into toddlerhood. It is very fun, but also very challenging. She has a lot of opinions, and does not like to be told no! She may not talk but she certainly makes her opinions known.

One of the best things about Brielle when we first got her was that she would eat anything, veggies and all! But with toddlerhood has come picky eating...I'm just thankful she still likes avocado and broccoli.

We also started potty training last week, and its going really well! I'm not sure when we can actually move into big girl panties, but it is really nice to use one or two pull-ups a day instead of multiple diapers.

She consistently signs 'more' or 'all done' when given a choice between eating more or getting down. She is pretty consistent about obeying 'look at mommy', which is a big victory because eye contact has been hard for her. I am hoping she will learn the sign for going potty, but we're still working on it. Food is a much better motivator!

Her laughter is still medicine for my soul! She is a child of big extremes, very happy, very sad, or very mad. We certainly enjoy her, and she pushes us to our limits.

I know 2015 holds great things for our girl! I cannot wait to look back over the year when we get to our gotcha day, and see all the expectations she has exceeded!

Here is a look at our life lately:

Rainy Saturday=Chick Fil A breakfast

Music is still her favorite thing

Long day at the eye doctor

Equals long nap

Love when she still snuggles after nap is supposed to be over 

Flynn is hanging out with us again!

She loves her doggies more than they love her. 

Working on our coloring skills

Nothing like a playset inside with Mommy, Brielle and Coalie

Christmas...The time of expectations

Our daughter's first Christmas...words that held a lot of expectation. She may have celebrated Christmas in the orphanage, but we will never know. She didn't have anything to bring from their, so it's safe to say she had never received any gifts. Christmas is a time of of family traditions, celebration, and laughter. Or at least that was my expectation. We tried to keep our gifts to a few, but I kept finding more and more things I just knew my daughter would love.

Here is how our Christmas went:
We went to church on Christmas Eve, just like we've always done. Our service was at 4:30, which is prime playtime for our child. So that is what she did. Laughed and played during the service. Not exactly the peaceful service I had pictured.

Then we went to Chinese for dinner. My family has always gone to a Chinese restaurant on Christmas Eve. It's an odd tradition, but I wanted to carry it on. All she ate was french fries.

All I wanted to do before she went to bed was read the Christmas story from Luke 2. She screamed so loud the entire time that Scott had to start over twice.

Christmas morning she was up bright and early at 6:30...the child who normally sleeps until 8. Scott went to get ready to video her reaction to the Little Tykes play set we built in the living room. She screamed because she wanted to go with Daddy, but I kept her in the bed room. The end of her temper tantrum is caught on video, and she just goes still when she sees the playground. Then promptly scoots back to her room to play with her beloved car.

Although everyone was excited for her to open her gifts she was overwhelmed by the attention, and mostly screamed when ripping open the paper. Then chose to play with the boxes and bags.

I am not saying all of this because we had a bad Christmas. We truly had a wonderful Christmas, and my heart was full just having my daughter here with us. I don't know that I could have endured another year without her stocking on the mantle. The expectations for Christmas were mine, not hers. She had a great time getting to know all her family better. She got lots of attention, was read lots of books, and received lots of love. And that is what mattered to her. Now we're slowly reintroducing some of her gifts, and she loves them. She plays everyday with her play set, and got brave enough to slide by herself today.

I learned that Christmas with an adopted child is best when expectations are set to the side. (Or maybe all children, but this is my first experience). Next year my goal is to just soak in the time with family, buy less toys, and check my expectations at the door.

Got to finally see the Sanjines family in the US!

Christmas in Virginia with the Hamilton Family

Christmas Eve...Our first nativity!

Christmas morning

 Christmas Day with the Dunton Family

Hiking with the family